I keep listening for my little droopy drawers to come running in to see me. That's not going to happen again.
I keep trying to make sense out of this. My girl just slipped out the front door and was gone. I don't know why? She had acres and acres to run in the back. God works in mysterious ways. The last year was so hard. For both of us. She fought so hard through the first month. It really took a good 6 months for her to start feeling "good". But she did it....it seemed she beat the Blasto. But the truth is that I ALWAYS had a feeling of impending doom. The thought of relapse haunted me, long, long before she ever got better. I was looking for ways to prevent it 2 months into her treatment. Maintenance doses? Monthly antigen tests? How could I prevent it? Lola had one blue and one brown eye. I would sometimes clean this clear gook with brown specks out of her blue eye and at times it would just look strange, not right. Even my mom would comment "her blue eye doesn't look right today". Dr. Walters used to say "he always looked at the glass half empty instead of full. Everything looks good OR the blasto has just walled itself off for a while. I don't know if she would have relapsed but it just seemed like I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I prayed every night she would get better. Healthy. That she would be able to run and play with her pups. By June she seemed like she was doing great. She spent 6 months running and playing and getting even more spoiled rotten. She loved life again and was enjoying herself. My prayers had been answered. Then she slipped out the front door, past my son and we never saw her again. God works in mysterious ways. Maybe you just can't cheat death or at least not for long? Maybe some dogs are just meant to go to heaven. Maybe this was Gods way of granting me my prayers. I couldn't have handled a relapse. I just couldn't have. Not emotionally or financially. The idea of CNS involvement scared me to death. The idea of ever having to put her down scared me to death. Maybe this Gods way of saving me and her from having to deal with a relapse It was quick. No lingering in pain or sickness. She was enjoying herself and not suffering. For this I have to thank God.
She ran out the door on 12/11/11. I looked for her so hard that I found another Basset Hound, named Lola with one blue and one brown eye hundreds of miles away. At the time I thought this must be a sign. I think it was. I think it was a sign that I had searched everywhere and if she was out there I would have found her.
It happened less than 45 after she slipped out the door. That street is the very first place we went. We returned there less that 2 hrs after she got out and again and again continuously for weeks. It was a Sunday and this corner was directly across from a church. Yet no one saw her, no one saw anything. She wasn't there. She was hit and removed my some on (I can only hope out of compassion) within about a period of an hour. It took us until 1/5/12 to find out the truth about what happened. Maybe it took that long because I needed that long to accept it. I had found her tag at the edge of the highway. It was the type the slid onto the collar, not dangled from it. I cannot explain how that tag got off her collar or how I found it. But even then I was in denial. I convinced myself that someone had stolen her and put the tag there for me to find. Yes....I needed that time to accept it, if only slightly.
At first I was so upset that someone had taken her. I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to bring her home. It was Sunday when it happened. Sanitation doesn't work on Sunday. Not did the police pick her up or any of the local residents. It was just someone driving by who picked her up. The water main had broke and the ditch was filled with water. They didn't take her out of the street and put her in the water filled ditch. I have to believe (I pray to God) that taking her was an act of compassion. I hope the took her to rest somewhere peaceful and respectful. But the truth is that it would have killed me to find her there in the street. Maybe having someone compassionate enough to remove her come along so quickly was a blessing from God? Maybe that's why he left me her tag to find?
I wasn't a deeply faithful person before Lola came into my life. But through her I saw so many miracles and twists of faith. Lola crawled into our dog dog and had had puppies. They were so big she began howling which is how we discovered her. We had to take her to the Emergency Vet to help her have them. Then about 3 months later, one of her puppies went under the fence and got lost. The next day Lola dug out that spot and tracked that puppy for almost 7 miles over 3 days. The dog catcher found the pup and she was less than 2 blocks behind her. She was a miracle, everyday she showed me that. She was my best friend. I was blessed to have her choose me to share some of her short life with. I will miss her forever and ever Droopy Drawers. I love you my beautiful baby girl, I'll love you forever. Thank you for your blessings.
Author
Topic: Pictures of my beautiful baby girl Lola (Read 436 times)